Tuesday, December 12, 2017
Compare My Finances to Someone Else? The Joneses are Broke!
It is very natural to compare your own situation to someone else’s. We always think the grass is greener on the other side. Sadly, that isn’t always the case. It is important to understand that comparing your own financial situation to someone else’s is not only not helpful, but might also be damaging. For better or worse, mainly worse, we leave in a consumerist society that often values possessions over people. If you don’t believe me head to the mall this weekend and try not to get your arm ripped out while getting a toy for your nephew. What this has done is given us all a complex about spending. We feel as if we must spend our way to success. Spend our way to love. Spend our way into prosperity. The only thing we can spend our way into is debt, despair, and denial. In this post I am going to explain why comparing your finances to someone else’s is a detrimental money habit. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side and I am going to show you why.
1) Everyone is different
I used to look back on my friends who had university paid for them and think, “Wow, what lucky, spoiled kids.” What I didn’t realize is that many of them also had to work hard for money as well. Many had to pay their own boarding, or transportation or just even to have a few bucks in their pocket. Others were luckier and had everything paid for. For many of those, however, expectations came with that money. They had to maintain a certain grade average, strive for a certain scholarship, or complete certain volunteer expectations for their family to support them. Those objectives are time-consuming as well. Probably more time consuming than my job during university. What I am getting at is that I have come to realize that not everything is as simple as it seems. I used to compare my terrible situation to others better situation, not realizing that they had their struggles and obstacles as well. I envied them because I didn’t envy myself, and that was the root of the problem. No one knows everyone’s complete story. You might find that the person you envy really wishes they were you.
9 tips to effective goal setting – Budget Boss
2) Hopelessness is a terrible thing
When you are comparing yourself to another, right away you are on the negative end of the emotional spectrum. There is nothing positive about envy, it is one of the 7 deadly sins. Envy breeds contempt and contempt breeds anger and now you have lost track of what it is you are even upset about. All of those negative emotions and what the real problem all along was you, and your unhappiness with your situation. Sadly, no one has ever gotten out of a bad situation with a negative mindset. You must always hope for the future to accomplish goals. No one likes a downer, and when you are in comparison mode all you will attract is others like you. Then you have a cluster of cattiness and contempt that will get you nowhere in life. You must always keep hope alive. If you see something in someone else that makes you envious, talk to them about it. Find out how they have what they have and copy it, but do it for you and your dreams. If someone is successful they will usually love to share their story.
3) Too much pressure
There are way too many people in your life to be able to keep up with all of them. Everyone has different priorities and if you try to match each of their accomplishments, you will get nowhere. You will feel overwhelmed by the list of tasks on that stupid to do list and hopelessness will follow. There will always be a new toy or gadget. There will always be new successes and accomplishments. You will spend your whole life chasing other people’s dreams instead of your own. I remember when I was younger and would complain about a friend getting a toy that I didn’t have to my parents. My Mom would always say: “Well, you should go live with them then.” That shut me up real quick. Life is going to throw curveballs and stresses at you. Don’t make your life more pressure-packed by adding on phony expectations of what your life should be.
4) You’ll never win
I have mentioned many times before that money is finite. You can only make a certain amount of money in your lifetime unless you are super wealthy. For most of us, we can pretty much calculate the total amount of money we will ever make, barring any changes. What this means is that we can’t try to make something out of nothing because we envy someone else. That is a losing proposition. I mentioned that money is finite. On the flip side, debt is infinite. You will be amazed at how much debt your lenders will let you get in before they cut you off. Trying to keep up with someone else is a sure-fire way to spend money that you don’t have. If you have read any of my posts, I am sure you know how I feel about debt. The debt cycle will cause you to lose everything and is one of the main causes of people not reaching their financial and personal goals. Unless you are in the top 1%, you will never spend your way to happiness.
Why You Shouldn’t Try to Keep Up with the Joneses – Psych Central
5) The Joneses are broke
It may not seem true, but most of the people in this country have debt or not enough savings or both. Those people you envy are probably part of this demographic. The statistics in Canada are scary:
24% don’t know how much they have saved up (which means they have none in my opinion)
14% have not put any money away
9% have less than $1,000 at their disposal
28% is the average amount of money monthly, going towards mortgage payments for those polled
$174,000 is the average amount owing on the mortgages of those polled
46% of those polled said they would have difficulty paying their mortgage within six months if their primary income earner lost his or her job
These are startling statistics. Even more startling is the fact that Canadians have over 1.7 trillion in total debt. On average, Canadians have $22,125 in non-mortgage debt which includes credit cards and lines of credit. What this means for many Canadians is that they are in large amounts of debt and don’t have money saved up either. This is a dangerous position to be in. That person you wish to be is probably teetering on the edge of disaster. Don’t be normal; normal is broke. Be yourself, it’s the only way to win at life.
Canada’s household debt burden hits record – The Globe And Mail
Setting financial goals is all about yourself, no one else. The reason this is true is that you can only work within your own situation. Only you know what really makes you tick and only you know what you are truly up against. Trying to compare your financial situation to someone else’s won’t work. It’s like trying to bench-press what that big dude at the gym is. It won’t work, you’ll just get hurt. The moment you realize that the greatest battle is within, the richer you will be.
Thanks for tuning in as Habits Week starts here at Budget Boss. Tune in tomorrow as we discuss more money habits that people have. If you wish to discuss your money habits, shoot me a message at joe@budgetboss.ca. Also, don’t forget to sign up for our, Set Your Financial Goals for 2018 Workshop, tomorrow night at 5 PM from Innovation Works in downtown London, Ontario. Have a great week Bosses!
“Negative emotions like loneliness, envy, and guilt have an important role to play in a happy life; they’re big, flashing signs that something needs to change.” – Gretchen Rubin
Email – joe@budgetboss.ca
Follow Budget Boss on – Facebook LinkedIn Twitter Instagram Pinterest Quora