Monday, January 28, 2019
Why You Shouldn’t Care What Others Think…. And Why it Matters to Your Money
A recent meeting with a colleague of mine got me thinking about this subject. Having experienced great personal and career successes in the past year has been quite uplifting, yet it is not enough. One thing is for sure, it is definitely not enough for other people. Ultimately it will never be enough for some, but then that begs the question, why? Why are some people that way? Why are we often that way? I know I can be petty and even cruel sometimes. The truth is, what other people do and even more importantly, think, should be of no concern to any of us. Today I am going to show you why other’s opinions do not matter and how it affects your money. Let’s get started.
Your mom was right, it’s because they are jealous
Jealousy is a funny thing. We can be supremely confident in ourselves, yet it can creep up out of nowhere. We all have things that we want in life. Seeing others who already have those things does not feel good, almost ever. It’s hard to admire someone instead of hating them for being where you want to be. It is almost natural to think they are a jerk. When someone is taking you down a peg, it is probably because they feel they can’t see eye to eye with you, meaning they feel beneath you. When mom said the popular kid in school was jealous of you, it didn’t really make sense, did it? She was right. We naturally knock others who have what we want. In terms of your money, this is very apparent. We must nip our own jealousies in the bud right away. This can cause us to buy things we can’t afford, rack up debt, and ruin our future. It also can cause hostile work environments, and who needs that. If you sense someone is jealous of you, going out of your way to be nice to them usually works. They might not feel on your level, so go down to theirs and show them you aren’t better than them, even if you just might be.
Most people are underwhelming
Let’s face it, most people aren’t amazing. Most people are just people, living their lives. Take a second and try to think of 2 people you know who are just living amazing lives. 2 people that blow your socks off every time you see them. Go ahead, I will wait. See, it just isn’t common. Our society is designed to underwhelm and then we all fall into place. So, if most people aren’t really that special, why care what they think? Why does it matter what anyone else thinks if they themselves are not crushing it? Most people have an average life, do average things, and make an average income. There is nothing wrong with that, but again it’s nothing special. If you are trying to accomplish something more than average, it will draw the ire of those who are not. This is especially true if your income is greater than average. Understand that the average income in this country is barely livable in my opinion. Strive to be more than underwhelming but know that it may draw criticism.
Life is too short
I am turning 35 this year. I remember when I used to look at people who were my age and think of them as the “old guy.” Now I am the “old guy” to a 20-year old. That’s a scary thought. Time flies and spending your valuable time worrying about what others think is a complete waste. It accomplishes nothing and is, in fact, detrimental to your well-being. Even more damaging is that it clouds your judgment in terms of what’s important in your life. While you are wasting time trying to impress other you could be spending time growing your wealth and knocking out your financial obligations. A prime example in my life is my Dad. Ruthlessly independent, he rarely takes crap from anyone. I seldom see him in something other than an old shirt and pair of jeans. All the while he has built a successful life for himself tucked away not giving an ounce of what other people do or think. He is quite aware of how short life can be, so he focused on making his life the best he could make it. I suggest we all do the same. You don’t want to turn around and be a 60-year-old doing the same things you were when you were 25.
None of it means anything, seriously
My mom used to say, “If they ain’t paying my bills, I ain’t listening to what they have to say.” If our current economic and political times have told us anything, is that the world is saturated with BS right now. You can’t take 3 steps without hearing someone complain about this or give an opinion about that. The big question about it is this: Why does any of it matter? Small things become complex. Complex things are made to be small. This is done to confuse us and distract us from what’s actually important. What’s important is our own success and those of the people we love. So back to what my mom would say. If someone does not have a direct financial impact on your life, what they say is utterly irrelevant. They can’t take food out of your mouth. They can’t take away the roof over your head. Who cares about their thoughts on what you are doing? Where this can be an issue is when the person who holds your income in their pocket has thoughts on you. My advice is to seek out employment from those who have your best interests at heart. It may be easier said than done, but it is a worthwhile pursuit.
Most people don’t care about anyone else, and why should they
Here is a stark reality, most people don’t care about you, literally at all. Think of it this way: How many people do you actually care about? I bet that number fits on one hand, or less. Sure, we say we care about people, but do we really? How do we show we truly care? In all reality we aren’t designed to care about most people, we are designed for survival. When push comes to shove, we will always choose our best interests over another’s. This is just natural. If this is the case, why should anyone truly care about anyone else? Why would we expect someone to care about us? Should someone stop their dreams so you can pursue yours? Absolutely not! So, if this is the situation, why would anyone’s opinion of you matter. Why would your opinion of them matter? When things get complex, try to simplify them. If we are all looking out for our own best interests, then do that. I believe that if we all focused on making our own lives better, society would be better. This is especially true with personal finance. Focus on that aspect of your life, and the rest will almost always fall into place.
It is impossible to please everyone
Ever knock something right out of the park, only to have a colleague or superior trash all over you? How infuriating is that? The truth is, most of us don’t see eye to eye. We all have different visions of how things should be done. Look at politics as an example. These people who survive on our dime, sit around and argue all day about meaningless junk and yet they almost always agree about the same destination. It filters down into our lives too. Your success is someone else’s failure. You triumph is meaningless to the next guy. If this is the case and you can’t please everyone, focus on what actually matters, making yourself happy. Deep down we all know what we must do to make our lives better. Pleasing others will almost always mean a sacrifice of your own success and that is with a 100% chance of not even being able to please others. The same is true with your financial decisions. Your upward movement will definitely make others upset, but then again, if you were digressing in life, they would probably knock you anyway. If that is the case, you are better off just killing it and focusing on your own success.
I felt the need to speak on this subject mainly because of what I see around me. I see a lot of clouded judgment and lack of prioritization, even within myself at times. Ultimately, we are the keepers of our success, especially if you are an entrepreneur. While my tips are obviously easier said than done, we can negate the effects of others on us. A simple way is to remove negative forces from your sphere. By doing this you have made your happiness, success, and well-being a priority. If we all did that, the world would most certainly be a better place.
“I don’t let anyone’s insecurities, emotions, or opinions bother me. I know that if I am happy, that’s all that matters to me.” – Demi Lovato
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