Wednesday, June 20, 2018
9 Money No-Nos for Married Couples
If you have read any of my posts in the past about money and relationships you are well aware of the fact that most divorces are due to money stress. I say it a lot because it happens a lot. While I am not a relationship expert by any means, far from it, I do know a thing or two about money. I also know what not to do in a relationship. Kind of an expert on that, ugh. Getting married is a joyous, amazing time of your life and nothing should change that, not even money. Today, I am going to show you 9 Money No-Nos for Married couples that will surely help them with their financial planning. Marriage is the number one cause of divorce, the second is money. Let’s change that!
1) Don’t hide your spending
You wouldn’t believe how many older men I have seen over the years that have a secret slush fund for boozing on a Friday night. You wouldn’t believe how many women I know that have a secret shopping fund as well. Two words: Stop it! If you can’t share your spending with your significant other you will have some major problems. It reminds me of the poker nights with the boys back in the day. Whenever I got home I always told the girlfriend I broke even. I must have been the luckiest guy in the world! If you hide spending from your partner, it will eventually come to light and it will breed resentment. You know about the freckle on his butt, you should know about the beer and wings with the boys.
2) Don’t neglect savings, be a team
You wouldn’t believe how many couples I meet that don’t save together. You must, must, must have common savings goals. You got together because you love each other but also because cohabitation is better on the wallet. Each of you should be putting money aside every pay so that the other is not feeling like they are doing it alone. It is easy to get into competition mode when only one partner is saving money. If you are the winner in the savings games amongst the two of you, that makes the other the loser. Congratulations Mr./Mrs. Winner, you are with a loser and therefore, you lose as well. Don’t have winners and losers, you both should be winners. Savings should be a race to the top, not the bottom.
3) Don’t keep your goals a secret
I am all for personal goals and when in a relationship it should be understood that you both have goals. The goal is to better yourself to better your relationship. Get those goals out in the open and support each other in their quest for greatness. There is nothing sexier than a spouse that is more excited for their partner than the partner is themselves when they accomplish a goal. Money goals, education goals, career goals, fitness goals, get them all out there. A team is only as strong as its weakest member.
4) Don’t hold money grudges
Remember that time 15 years ago when you lost $500 playing roulette in Vegas? Yeah, drop bringing up that kind of stuff. Money grudges are poison. You must let it go or else it will become extremely annoying and even damaging over time. Mistakes will happen, but the key is to learn from them and move on. Bring them out in the open and figure out the reason behind them. Bringing it up consistently will only breed resentment. This is another reason why it is important to not have secret money. Trust and transparency will allow you to nip problems in the butt right away and not let them grow to bigger, unmanageable problems for where a grudge will develop.
The Top Money Mistakes Couples Make – Budget Boss
5) Don’t think you will be young forever because you won’t
When you were young and spent your first Christmas huddled around the oven for warmth, all you needed was love to keep you going. When you get married, being broke isn’t cute anymore. You know what is extremely cute, savings accounts, paid off homes, long-term investments and adequate insurance coverage. Milestones like marriage are a great time to get your financial ship in order. Take the time map out your future as a couple. I promise that plan will change, but at least you will have the blueprint moving forward. You will get old, and you will need a plan. Get started on that now.
6) Don’t assume you are healthy, or will always be healthy
Most households these days count on the income of both spouses to keep it going. Never, never assume both of you will be healthy or even are healthy. Take a second right now and think about what you would do if one of you couldn’t work anymore. Scary right? Now the time you will spend trying to figure out how you will take care of your ailing spouse should be spent on just that. Imagine if you had to think about how to pay the bills during that time as well. If you love the person you are with, you will prepare to take care of them should anything happen to you health-wise. Not a fun conversation I know, but it is necessary. Bad health often leads to poverty unless you are prepared.
7) Don’t forget that you will die
This post got really morbid really quick I know. Just like getting sick or injured, dying will affect your spouse greatly as well. If you care about your partner at all, you will get life insurance. I know that sounds like I am saying if you don’t have it, you don’t care about your partner. Well, it is kind of true. Listen, I have seen both sides of the coin. I have seen people financially devastated by the death of a spouse and are now confined to poverty because they didn’t have adequate coverage. I have also seen the survivor given the time to grieve properly, maintain their standard of living, and focus on the future, all because their deceased spouse took the time and effort to make sure if they were gone, their loved ones would be provided for. It is quite simple, if you are alive you need life insurance. I have yet to see an argument against it hold water. But hey if you think I’m wrong, I would like to hear why.
The 1 Financial Product Everyone Should Have – Budget Boss
8) Don’t count on one person for retirement
It is very common to see a family’s complete retirement picture based on the pension or retirement plan of one spouse. Big mistake. As I have mentioned in the last 2 points, that spouse may not always be around, or healthy. Also, any job that has a pension is at risk of losing that pension. How could that be true? My company loves me! Just a heads up, no they don’t. If you work for the government, every 4 years your job is at risk. If you work for a corporation, every year-end budget, your job is at risk. We constantly we hear of layoffs here and downsizing there. Is this a strange coincidence? Are any of us immune to this phenomenon? No, we aren’t. While one of you may have a rock-solid pension, both of you should be contributing to retirement. What is the worst that can happen? Early retirement? Annual vacations in the Mediterranean? Giving money to loved ones when you die? Having too much money sounds terrible, doesn’t it? To me, the worst that could happen would be one person getting sick, injured, fired or passing on and the whole plan crumbles. A close second would be waiting for the 1st of every month for the pension check to come in instead of doing what you want when you want. Think abundance folks. Eggs in one basket, ducks in a row, we have heard all the sayings.
9) Don’t forget to plan fun
So, I have told you what not to do, I need to tell you what to do as well. Plan for the fun in life as well. Plan for taking vacations and enjoying the fruits of your labor. Have some fun and do the things you want to do. Why I stress, and often take a downer tone, about financial planning is so you can do the fun things without regret. You can spend some of your hard-earned money when you want because you know your plan is solid and everything is taken care of. I speak about injury, illness, and death because they are out there, and they are real. I also speak about them because I realize life is short, sometimes too short, and we need to enjoy ourselves. Finding the balance between enjoyment and preparedness is key. Fun should always be on the agenda, but fun is even more fun when you know you are on the path to financial freedom. One thing I know for sure is that poverty is not fun. That is a fact.
Working together as a couple towards common goals is exhilarating and can be the solid foundation of a great marriage. The happiest retired people I meet are the ones that are now reaping the rewards of their hard work together throughout their lives. Be them.
“You only have to do a very few things right in your life so long as you don’t do too many things wrong.” – Warren Buffett
Email – joe@budgetboss.ca
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